throw back thursday to my early competing days. The days where I was spending hours in the gym, eating as little as 900 calories a day. I busted my butt literally every day. I was in the best shape of my life, and I was exhausted. It was all I could do every day to eat all my food, do my homework, complete my workout and fall into bed… I literally did not have a single extra ounce of energy for friends, family or anything else. It was the best and the worst and I couldn’t help but wonder if there was a different way of doing things.
And this is me now. 5 years later. Post back injury, almost one year of not being able to go to the gym, rehabilitation , hot yoga, no cardio, 3 full body gym workouts a week that at a maximum last 45 minutes. And I am eating twice as much. Thats the best part. 🙂 I am eating so much food, foods I want to eat, going out for dinner, cooking for friends, and not restricting to chicken and asparagus all day. Here, I have energy. I sleep at night. And Im not actively searching out chocolate every where!
Ive thought a lot about where I have come from and where I am going. Competing taught me a lot about myself and Im grateful for my lessons and growth. For the confidence I’ve gained. But Im even more grateful for who I am today. In a long complicated process, through the healing of time, I have found balance. And peace with myself. And joy in cooking and eating again. Its beautiful.